Invest in Your Relationship


If someone told you that you could effectively quadruple your income in five years by investing substantially in your career during that period, what would you do?  There is almost a zero percent chance you will turn your face the other way when the result is this attention-grabbing.   Have you ever considered the massive return you get when you invest in your relationship? Well, investing in your relationship is a lifetime investment…priceless!

The secret to any healthy and happy relationship is to tend to your partner’s needs such that it interests you both simultaneously. Moreover, despite what most people self-righteously believe, developing a solid foundation is not about supporting and loving your partner, no matter the circumstances or consequences. In fact, it is about understanding each other on an emotional level so that you know where the boundaries lie for both parties. It is when you make conscious efforts that you realize the only way to forge a deep connection with your partner and feel the real fulfillment of your love life is when you make timely deposits in your relationship account.

How Investing in Your Relationship Works in Your Favor

Here’s what happens when you prioritize your relationship as much as you plan for everything else that you find important in your life, including your career, self-development, and financial plans.

1- Creates Meaningful Connection

When you put your energy into a relationship despite needing to attend to a million other things, your actions do not go unnoticed. Instead, these small, caring steps you take for your partner results in gratitude and deep affection. This automatically builds a more meaningful connection between you and your loved one.

Everyone needs at least one such person in their life who can make them feel comfortable in their skin and not demand anything but love and respect in return. This absence of pressure can help a couple experience some fulfillment whether everything else you planned for your life has yet been fulfilled or not.

2- Allows You Peace of Mind

When you continuously invest in your relationship and subject your partner to your affections, it makes them feel loyal towards you. It is a natural reaction to feeling secure about your relationship, knowing that the person you love not just reciprocates but genuinely cares about your emotions.

Moreover, when a partner’s loyalty already resides with their significant other’s happiness, it becomes easier to tackle other aspects of their life without getting distracted.

3- Means to Experience Sound Self-Growth

A person confident enough to deal with their personal challenges also tends to be calmer and more courageous individually when they believe they are not alone. That is because they know even if they fail, they will always have their partner to lean towards.

As a result, couples that emotionally invest in their relationship can take more risks, achieve higher aims, and still come out on top.

4- Builds a Steady Support System

One African saying goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go further, go together.” These wise words demonstrate how a couple can thrive when spouses can lean on each other.

While it may seem like putting your energy and time into a relationship leaves you with less time for pursuing other goals, this concept does not hold any water. That is because putting a few of your plans on hold for the sake of creating a healthy relationship is temporary. Moreover, entering in a steady relationship only offers you extra momentum in the long run. When you build a team of two, it gives you the will and strength to persist and push harder than before so that you can achieve even more than what you initially planned for.

5- Enhances Your Experiences

Being able to exchange your thoughts and plans with your partner, knowing that they understand you better than anyone else, is a blessing. It enhances your individual experiences and highlights the beauty of moments you spend together with all your loved ones. When you carry these mind-numbing memories into the future, it amplifies your love for life even more so than before.

How to Invest in Your Relationship to Strengthen Its Foundation

Now that you realize the paramount importance and benefits of investing in your relationship, let us understand how to effectively build a healthy and everlasting connection with your partner!

1- Be Present in the Moment

It can get challenging at times to switch out of work mode even when you are lounging with your partner at home. For example, checking your email inbox every fifteen minutes will not look good from your partner’s perspective, especially when you make it an everyday habit. Moreover, it can be quite tempting to check your Facebook feed or messages when you are out at a family dinner. But then again, all these impulses only occur when you are not emotionally present in the moment.

Instead of thinking about work, shift your focus to your partner, getting to know them or about their day. Even more so, when you are outside, it is best to invest in your relationship by getting familiar with people who live close to your partner’s heart. Once you decide to give your hundred percent to the relationship, being present in the moment wouldn’t seem like a hardship at all.

2- Listen – Understand – Validate

One of the essential things a relationship requires is your utmost attention. Hence, you do not just have to be emotionally present but also be engaging and participative. Even more so, you need to actively listen to what your partner is saying in a non-judgmental way while concentrating on both of your needs. Conclusively, it must go both ways. That is why you should not hold back from sharing your perspective with them as well. Being honest and allowing yourself to be listened to is vital for a relationship based on mutual trust and understanding.

In practice, you can make it a ritual to spend your Sunday mornings or afternoons strolling through a park or going out to a nice coffee shop just for discussing your week’s highs and lows. It is an effective way to put everything out in the open while keeping small issues from turning into big fights.

3- Recognize Unhealthy Behavior

A relationship’s well-being depends on promoting healthy patterns and sound behavior. For example, let us suppose your partner has a habit of leaving their clothes or towel on the bathroom floor. If you keep ignoring it and think that they will change over time, they will not change. You need to recognize it as what it is – an unhealthy behavior. Instead of sweeping the matter under the carpet, you need to invest your thoughts in your relationship. Because when you don’t tackle the issue when it arises first, it will eventually become a problem that leads to destructive results for your relationship.

This also includes instilling boundaries and making mutual career, financial, and social plans, so you and your partner know what to expect from each other. Once limits are established, they keep the ruinous etiquettes at bay from both sides.

4- Be Generous.

Generosity is one of the best qualities to possess and put into practice when you invest in your relationship. However, most people usually skip this part when they are in a relationship themselves, even when their own expectations are off the charts. Simply put, while it is essential that couples set some expectations for each other, they should not neglect to do the same for their partner.

A good rule of thumb for getting the most out of your relationship is to follow a simple yet effective mantra – that is, ‘Whatever I want from my relationship, I will give more to it first.’ More often than not, when you make efforts for your partner, your practices are reciprocated as well.

5- Quality Time Alert

For most couples, spending quality time without any interruption can only happen on weekends. However, an avalanche of errands can turn that spare time into a hectic and stressful series of events in a matter of minutes. Suppose your weekends are becoming all about running around to purchase groceries, doing laundry, paying bills, and penciling out a dozen other items off your to-do list. In that case, it might be time to consider outsourcing at least some of your tasks.

However, keeping some responsibilities to yourself, like doing the dishes together, can also offer a bit of intimacy in your relationship. It is proof that you and your partner invest time together, working on getting to know each other and solidifying your relationship’s strength.

6- Take Time Off to Spend Time Together

No matter how time-consuming your work life tends to be, you must take some time off to spend it with your partner. You could treat yourself to a three-day-long vacation trip every six months or plan date nights every few weeks. These actions show that you and your partner are prioritizing your relationship even amidst the hectic schedule.

Moreover, you can create a realistic yearly bucket list that both of you would enjoy doing together. It is one of the simplest ways to build hope and anticipation in your relationship while simultaneously acknowledging and working towards accomplishing your desires.

7- Learn New Skills

If you are serious about investing in your relationship, you should be willing to try out new things to please your partner. Considering that a relationship is a two-way road, this contribution should go both ways.

One of the best things you can do to encourage yourself and your partner for this is to make a simple promise. For example, on each of your birthdays, you can spend time learning a new skill that would benefit your partner while they do the same thing for you. It can be anything, from learning how to blow dry your partner’s hair to mastering how to play pool just because they like it. Look for mutual interests; for example, if visiting Paris is on your partner’s bucket list, learning how to speak French can be a lovely gesture. If it makes you and your partner happy, sparing some time grasping a new skill can be a worthwhile endeavor.

8- Leave Positive Reminders and Give Happy Surprises

Keeping the spark alive in your relationship is not as hard as some people complain it to be. That is because going all out and doing over-the-top things for your partner isn’t what keeps them captivated in the long run. Instead, it is the thought and small gestures that matter the most.

Leaving sweet reminders for your partner by texting them out of the blue or leaving sticky notes at their bedside table can go a long way to make them feel affectionate towards you. Moreover, surprising them from time-to-time with date nights, flower bouquets, concert tickets, or anything that gets them excited is a simple yet dazzling maneuver that your partner would appreciate and remember.

9- Talk About Your Highs and Lows with a Professional Relationship Coach

Lastly, connecting with a relationship coach is one of the best investments you can partake in as a couple to invest in your relationship. Having a neutral party to confide in about your highs and lows can help you identify any significant change of negative behavior that might be impacting your relationship. On the contrary, if you plan to talk it out with friends, you cannot factor out the possibility that their opinions will most likely be filled with bias.

At Marriage Means Moore, you can begin this new journey with us by scheduling a free consultation with one of our life and relationship coaches. Moreover, you can visit our website blog for the resources we’ve put together to help you pass through all your obstacles without a hitch.  You can also check out our published book, How Communicating Saved Our Marriage, which you can use as a guide to encourage constructive communication and healthy behavior with your partner.

By Antonio & Laura Moore – Relationship & Marriage Coaches – February 12, 2021  Follow us on Facebook
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