The Best Marriage Advice

The Best Marriage Advice

When you see a married couple easily passing through the hardships that head their way, you’re bound to dream of your marriage to be just like that – strong and steady. However, most people do not realize that there is not any secret to a successful and satisfied marriage. All that’s functioning behind a happy long-term relationship are the rules you establish for you and your partner. It is also crucial to remember that what guidelines you follow for your relationship does not have to be something that all married partners agree with. That’s because every relationship is different, and so each couple requires distinct tips and tricks to get along with their marriage blissfully.

That said, there are still a few of the best marriage advice you should consider enhancing better communication and trust with your spouse. Although most people think that saying ‘I do’ should automatically turn their relationship into a path full of daffodils, bringing your vows to life is an ongoing task that takes more effort than that. To help you out, we’ve put together the fifteen best pieces of marriage advice that promise life-changing positive transitions for your relationship.

1- Stick to Your Vows

When you sign the papers and say your vows, it’s a written as well as a verbal commitment to your partner, indicating you’re both in it for the long haul. Moreover, the promises you make to your spouse to stand by them at all times, ‘in sickness and in health,’ should never be taken for granted. When both partners work together to build a foundation based on loyalty, they’re more likely to get through all kinds of challenging situations together.

Simply put, making realistic commitments in marriages should be a mutual, shared intimacy, and it is one of the vital components for ensuring a healthy and happy marriage.

2- ‘Good’ Communication Is the Key to Happiness

You don’t need to be one of those ‘perfect’ couples who never argue with each other to be considered happy. Your happiness relies on whether you feel insecure or judged about your actions. It might be possible that the couple you idolize for never having a hair out of place has tons of problems, but they choose to ignore them. Ultimately, that only leads to resentment in the long term, ending up in a fight with no way to be resolved.

Instead, you should be able to discuss the issues at hand without getting defensive while communicating respectfully with each other. Moreover, dismissing your spouse’s feelings or digging up the past to throw at each other’s faces should be referred to as a no-go area for both partners.

3- Always Assume the Best of Each Other

No matter how much your spouse disappoints you at times, it’s still better to assume they have the best intentions for you at heart. Their method to handle different situations might be distinct from yours, and the outcome may not satisfy you as it should have. However, believing that they didn’t mean to mess up is often enough to leave the resentment out of the door.

On the contrary, if you assume your partner is wrong and they are deliberately making flawed decisions, it will stir up unnecessary and negative notions in your relationship. Their ‘best’ might not be up to your standards at moments, but acknowledging you’re both doing as much as you can allow more room for trust in your marriage. It is proof that you’ve got each other’s back, no matter what.

4- Be Flexible

You can’t communicate with your spouse rationally until one of you (or both of you) remains emotionally and verbally unreachable in terms of open-mindedness. There has got to be room to be flexible when taking each other’s opinions. Ensure a successful marriage by acknowledging that you can’t anticipate anything, so you should react with flexibility.

Finding yourself in unexpected circumstances, such as a sudden expense that you did not see coming, is a part of all marriages. Dramatizing such situations will only tire you while accepting the changes as they come will offer you the opportunity to learn new skills and get to know each other even better during that process.

5- Implement Some New Boundaries

One of the best marriage advices is to create boundaries – not only with your spouse but also children, considering that they are in the picture. You and your partner must have some pet peeves like everyone else, or there might be some topics that they find to be their hard limits. By establishing limitations, you can avoid nagging each other unnecessarily and remain in the safe-zone. However, it should go without saying that these boundaries are to be set for things that are non-negotiable or something that gets on your partner’s nerves. Avoiding topics that actually need to be tackled headfirst shouldn’t be stowed away in that list.

When it comes to children, you should also be ready to tell them ‘no’ to things you don’t find healthy. Moreover, they don’t need to be a part of everything relating to your marriage, so it’s essential to manufacture some boundaries for them as well. In fact, limiting their inessential interference in your decisions will prepare them to deal with the real world in the long run.

6- Avoid Shutting Down

‘Stonewalling’ or shutting down is the act of refusing to answer questions or avoid situations by being evasive (the silent treatment). When this one word becomes an unhealthy part of your marriage, it destroys the relationship from the inside out. Unfortunately, this caustic phenomenon has become a common occurrence these days, as many couples swear by it and stop responding to each other by maintaining a falsely-calm exterior.

The stonewaller thinks they’re trying to contain the situation that can escalate in the wrong direction. In reality, they are ignoring their destructive behavior. Instead, you should ask for a time-out in such situations; tell your spouse you’re emotionally overwhelmed at the moment, and then take deep breaths or go out for a walk. Once you’ve recovered, you may return to the discussion at hand and maturely continue the discourse.

7- Remember That There’s NO Winner or Loser

No matter what you and your partner decide on after having a long argument, it’s essential to understand that there isn’t any winner or loser in the end. In fact, that’s the whole point of having constructive communication in marriage.

If you and your partner can’t separate yourself from the ever-destructive ego, it’ll get significantly troubling to reach a mutual conclusion. This deadlock is a sign that you need to work together towards your goals and accept each other’s opinions like they were your own.

8- Never Stop Trying

We can’t stress this enough! Because while happiness is what we all strive for in a marriage, it demands constant attention and round-the-clock active efforts. You also need to realize that trying to make the best of your wedding isn’t just about communication and making promises. In reality, such relationships require definitive actions. You can’t merely make vows that you don’t intend to keep, as it will lead to a big blowout with your spouse ultimately. Moreover, not standing by your words puts you in a rough spot because it makes your partner think you’re dishonest with them – even when your intentions were pure at the time.

To show your eternal respect for your marriage and your partner, you should always prioritize conveying your feelings to them by being practically supportive, generous, and appreciative.

9- Be Willing to Let Go, Learn, and Grow

The next on the best marriage advice list is to let go of the past, including your partner’s mistakes. It doesn’t mean you should forget about it if their behavior with you was mentally, emotionally, or physically abusive, because that’s a whole other issue that requires a detailed discussion. However, you should be willing to untangle yourself from the past occurrences when you give your partner another chance to make up for their errors.

Moreover, it is essential to grow with time and learn from things as you go through your life. You can’t possibly mature your relationship if you don’t become competent in handling your marriage capably.

10- Stay Curious

You and your partner will change over time, and there’s no other way around it. However, you must indulge in your sense of curiosity to find the best and honest side of yourself and your spouse.

Growing together by asking your partner about how they feel about particularly challenging situations is a learning experience you shouldn’t dismiss. In the end, you’ll both have intense pride for each other upon seeing the results that your continuous efforts have made possible.

11- Until DEBT Do You Part

While talking about money to your spouse may seem like a sensitive and intimate matter to most people, it’s a conversation that needs to happen early and often. Whether you’re the kind of couple that keeps separate bank accounts or shares everything financially, not talking to your partner about how to manage your money is like leaving your windows open for distrust to creep inside. Besides, if you’re comfortable in your relationship, you should consider your significant other as your confidant who you can talk to about anything – either good or bad.

12- Understand Each Other’s Needs

Communication might be the backbone of any relationship. However, you need to be considerate about your spouse’s needs as well when they share something with you. And this rule still applies even if you don’t understand their wants at the time. To make your relationship with your partner more comfortable, the best marriage advice to follow is to use special codes for different occurrences.

For example, you can come up with a particular hand gesture when you want to take a break from an argument or some discussion. You can also use the same motion or other words to signal your partner that you want to leave a party because you feel uncomfortable. Later on, you can discuss whether the time-out or your abrupt departure was warranted or a bit dramatic. Either way, this type of agreement between couples gives them space to regain perspective because, in the end, it’s about being able to understand and trust each other under tough situations.

13- Don’t Abandon the Intimacy Out of Your Relationship

It can be hard sometimes not to get carried away with your busy life, whether it’s due to your career or your children. However, it should never be considered an excuse to let it disturb your quality time with your partner. Planning date nights, at least once a month, should be on your to-do list, no matter how busy you are. And while some people find it clinical, scheduled sex can also be an excellent way to maintain intimacy in a relationship. Most couples even say that they get excited when it’s pre-planned and start anticipating their alone time with their spouse.

14- Learn to Move On From Your Disagreements

Conflicts between partners are unavoidable. However, a happy marriage is one where you can argue with your partner yet still come back to the table afterward to talk about what happened and own your part. That’s also how you open up with your spouse about things that deeply affect you and need to be talked about. Finally, once everything is settled, you should be able to find a humorous, fun aspect in your conversation and learn to move on together while on the same page.

15- Talk to a Marriage Coach

Lastly, one of the best things you can do to establish a solid foundation for your marriage is to connect with a marriage coach from time to time. At Marriage Means Moore, we are always here to help!   You can begin this new journey with us by scheduling a free consultation with one of our Life & Relationship Coaches.

You can also our website for the resources we’ve put together to help you along in your marriage under all kinds of circumstances. We’ve also published our book, How Communicating Saved Our Marriage, which you can use as a guide for resolving potential marriage obstacles through constructive communication with your spouse.

You call your doctor if you have pain, you call your accountant if you have trouble with your taxes, you call a mechanic when car is broken.  Now you can call a Relationship Coach to get help with your relationship and marriage needs.

By Antonio & Laura Moore, Marriage & Relationship Coaches – February 3, 2020
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