There are times when you feel alone and dejected in pursuing your individual goals. However, chances are you can find a ton of informative material online to guide yourself to the right track, realizing what you can do to achieve your aims more conveniently. Unfortunately, there are significantly fewer resources when it comes to the importance of supporting your spouse’s goals.
The foundation of such relationships rely on trust, understanding, and belief. When couples can’t open themselves to these emotions, it gets severely challenging to continue with their long-term relationships.
Why Reaching Goals Together Is Important?
Flexibility and the will to be respectful of your partner’s wishes are two factors that eventually make or break a relationship in the long run. Besides, if you can’t fully support your spouse’s goals or motivate them to do what they desire in their life, how can they reach their highest potential? The sad reality is that while most of us don’t mean to do it intentionally, there comes a time when we start taking each other for granted.
However, unwillingness to support your spouse’s goal can also be intentional in many cases. When some people don’t agree with their partner’s ambitions, they can’t mask their resistance towards those dreams’ execution. While it is uncharted territory for both partners, it is essential to understand that it isn’t okay to mock the other person’s opinions just because it’s different from theirs.
Whether you agree with your partner’s goals or not, you can’t neglect the fact that they are your significant other who values your opinion. And when you reach for their goals as if they are your own, it is proof you’re bound in a mature relationship that’s respectful and full of love.
12 Things You Can Do to Support Your Spouse’s Goals
It’s partly your job to not only support your spouse’s goals but also help them figure out what they want from their life. To discover those ambitions and keep their dreams alive, you need to be there for them on a day-to-day basis, offering them little sparks of encouragement. Once you know how to do that, you’ll find it surprisingly easy to be supportive of your partner.
Here are twelve things you can do to make that happen:
1- Check on Them.
First and foremost, you shouldn’t let your partner feel alone in their dreams that they want to turn into a reality. Sometimes, they don’t know how to vocalize their needs because they are already walking on eggshells, wondering whether their goals are worth it. You want to avoid that, as that eventually leads to feelings of resentment and trepidation. Regularly checking up on them by telling them about your back burner ambitions lightheartedly can be a great way to break the ice and make them more comfortable opening up with you.
2- Know How to React
Some people like to be given some space, while others need to talk about their transitioning goals endlessly with their companion. You need to figure out which category your spouse lies into because knowing how to make a simple conversation concerning their goals can make a huge difference. Once you know how to react so as not to spook your partner into the corner, you can put that knowledge to good use.
However, it’s best to remember that they will eventually want to talk it out with you, even if they need space initially. It’s your first reaction that you offer while listening in to their ambitions that they remember, and realizing that their desires aren’t being mocked makes them more comfortable talking to you.
3- Encourage Your Partner
When people are more supportive and sensitive to their companion’s aims, they will most likely achieve their goals. People outside or even inside of their close-knit circle may not support them in pursuing their dreams. After all, if your spouse’s goals are out-of-the-box, people usually don’t see eye-to-eye on such matters until those aspirations have been accomplished in reality. That’s even more of a reason to be present for your better half and be incredibly encouraging to them.
Nothing that truly matters in life ever comes to us easily. Your partner’s ambitions could be anything from climbing the corporate ladder or adding to their skill set by continuing their education to being an entrepreneur. Whatever the case, they will always appreciate you lifting them as they go higher in life.
4- Commit to Them
The road to fulfilling your aspirations is never straightforward. However, when you’re married, there’s no need to let your partner walk through their endeavors on their own. Everyone appreciates a reminder that they’re not alone during the grinding hustle of life. And knowing that their partner will still be there, waiting on them at the end of the road, is what makes it easier for them to take the necessary steps forward to reach their visions.
Committing to your partner verbally and promising them that you’ll stick around the thick and thin is the ultimate sign for them that someone has got their back, no matter the outcome.
5- Talk About the Obstacles
There will be times when your partner would get paralyzed by the potential obstacles hindering their path to success. It should be your priority to support your spouse’s goals at that point, assure them everything is fine, and transition their focus on the positive aspects of their ambitions.
This doesn’t mean you should turn a blind eye and ignore those obstacles altogether. The healthy thing to do is find a silver lining each time your partner encounters a problem, and then overcome their issues with a positive mindset. It’s a fact that when one thinks optimistically with a ‘half glass full’ approach, it becomes relatively easier to come up with better and practical action plans.
6- Pick Up the Proverbial Shovel and Help Them
While supporting your spouse’s goals verbally makes a significant difference in boosting their spirits, it doesn’t mean that’s all you can do to make their journey more comfortable. When they’re digging up a ditch (making their way towards accomplishing their visions), pick up a shovel (use your own resources) to help them out. Remember that where there’s a will, there’s a way. So, whatever their ambitions are, you can always find a way to make them feel less lonely as they put all their efforts into making their dreams a reality.
For example, let’s suppose your partner has set a goal to exercise more. While you can easily encourage them to be more active by saying just the right things, you should also try picking up the proverbial shovel and dig a path for them. For one, you can always join them in this case and be healthier together. But if that’s not what you want, you can instruct them with realistic and attainable guidelines like ‘jog for fifteen minutes on the treadmill every day before work,’ instead of leaving it at ‘exercise three times a day.’
7- Help Your Partner Avoid Situations That Take Up Their Willpower
When you exert your willpower on unnecessary things, it makes it incredibly challenging to muster the will for doing anything else – even if it’s a far more critical task that requires your attention. For instance, we all know the feeling of buckling down for hours cramming for an exam till late at night. Try wandering into the kitchen after that for a snack, and it would be surprisingly more difficult to resist picking up the leftover chocolate cake than the apple sitting right beside it. That’s because your willpower would be depleted after a long study session, making it onerous to think healthily as that takes mental effort.
Considering this scenario, you can realize why it’s essential to help your partner pursue their goal by creating a stress-free environment for them that doesn’t take up any unnecessary willpower. For suppose, if your partner is trying their best to quit smoking, don’t pressure them into going to events that require them to socialize with people they dislike or who make them feel uncomfortable. Even your personal interactions with your partner can be draining at times if it requires them to make effortful social conversations. So, be mindful of what they’re going through and make it easier for them to focus all their willpower on the right tasks.
8- Refrain Yourself from Interfering Unnecessarily.
Another crucial thing to understand is that trying to control your partner’s actions can backfire on you. That’s because if your spouse feels like they are being dominated while pursuing their goals, they begin to think their freedom is threatened. For example, if your partner is thinking about eating more healthily, you need to develop a plan that works for both of you. If you start pushing unwanted healthy meals in front of your spouse at all times, it will inadvertently make them more likely to grab fast food at work. This unnecessary interference from your side will do more damage than good in the long run.
Moreover, sometimes your partner might not even want you to budge in and make everything happen for you. It can make them feel as if you don’t have faith in them to accomplish their dreams themselves, or it might also make them feel indebted to you. While you should try to make their journey easier for them, it doesn’t mean you need to take away their shovel and do the job yourself.
9- Be Subtle In Your Efforts
You now realize why it is a natural reaction to respond negatively at times when people make obvious efforts to help you. However, it’s unnecessary to help your partner and be also apparent about it. You always have the choice to be less obvious about your efforts to make it seem like you weren’t making extreme conscious efforts to help your partner. When your spouse doesn’t realize they’ve been helped, it prevents the potential negative consequences of feeling indebted, dominated, or threatened.
10- Remind Them You Love Them
Your words and actions tend to leave a substantial impact on your partner. That’s why reminding them time and again how much you love them and are proud of them would go a long way to elevate your partner’s mood, making them feel secure and comfortable in their relationship.
11- Acknowledge the Tough Parts
The best way to resolve the challenges and go through your partner’s hard times is to acknowledge the tough stuff. You can do that by asking your spouse if they also feel the widening distance between them for some reason. Make it clear that their silence is affecting you and your relationship without making it obvious. This way, you can support your spouse’s goals more capably. Plus, it saves you both a lot of struggle and hassle when the problems are acknowledged timely.
12- Learn What Not to Say to Your Partner
Sometimes, people say things that they don’t mean in the wrong way, but the message the other party receives is quite the opposite. That’s why it is essential to pick your words right, so your partner doesn’t feel as if they’re being misunderstood. For instance, you must refrain from saying, ‘It’s not a big deal’ when something goes wrong. That’s because it would most definitely be a big deal for them, and saying that means you don’t feel what they are going through. So, pick your words wisely and support your partner’s ambitions as if they are your own.
Speak with a Professional Relationship & Marriage Coach
Do you need help establishing a healthy relationship and a solid foundation while you support your spouse’s goals? If so, the first step towards achieving this aim is to start talking to an experienced marriage coach. You can recreate your relationship by beginning your journey with us at Marriage Means Moore with a free consultation session.
Moreover, you can visit our website for several resources to heed advice from our professionals about the different relationship problems you may be facing with your partner. You can also pick up a copy of our book, How Communicating Saved Our Marriage, to pass all the obstacles in your relationship capably.