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One of the easiest ways to prevent breakups and divorce is to learn how to avoid the 7 deadly sins of marriage.  These deadly sins involve specific behavior problems like jealousy, sloth or neglect, and pride, which for many couples, are the source of many of their problems. This is why learning how to escape certain sins is valuable to your relationship.

We all know about the seven deadly sins that make it difficult for an individual to have a successful life, but did you know there are 7 deadly sins of marriage too? They can wreak havoc on the life you set out to create with your partner. Understanding how these 7 deadly sins of marriage can affect your marriage and avoiding them can stop you from damaging your relationship beyond repair. Once the damage is done, it can be hard to repair it; hence, isn’t it better to prevent it?

A healthy relationship or marriage with your partner is definitely possible if you learn how to avoid these 7 deadly sins of marriage.  Here are a few tips on how to do exactly that.

1.   Lust

Lust in a marriage can be destructive, no matter if it is aimed at someone else or even your partner.  Because lust is a subconscious desire to always indulge in pleasuring oneself; it is inherently egoistic and doesn’t take into account the desires of the other individual at all. A lustful person will always look at their partner as a tool to use and dispose of rather than as someone who has needs that need fulfillment too.

Having lust for someone else is definitely one sin that can destroy the marriage. If you are lustful for other people and end up cheating on your partner, it can create a huge rift in the marriage. You being uncaring of how your partner will feel and giving in to your own egotistical desires by cheating can cost you the relationship. It can be quite hard to overcome a breach of trust in the relationship, and it can cost you many things in the relationship if the trust isn’t repaired. Rebuilding trust in a marriage is hard work and doesn’t always work. Hence, it is often better to make sure you never break the trust of your partner.

When you begin to value your partner, above your own needs and desires, you begin to worry about their joy and needs too. Being passionate about your partner and trying your level best to understand and meet their needs is what marriage is all about. Being thoughtful and respectful towards the partner will allow your marriage to thrive. Instead of making it all about yourself and your needs, you need to realize that your partner’s needs have to be met too.

2.   Sloth

Sloth is tied closely with indifference. If you aren’t putting any effort into the relationship, your dull attitude towards the marriage will begin to chip away at the partnership.

Your partner will notice if you aren’t contributing to the relationship and your family to the house with enthusiasm. If your partner is sharing something with you, you should try and give them your completely focused attention. Do they need anything? What do they really feel? Are they hungry or sick? Do they want to go for a walk or chat with you?

To avoid this sin means that you should limit activities that are just for you. This can mean constantly being on your phone, bringing work in, or playing video games alone. Your partner probably wants to spend time with you after a long day at work, so make sure to make time for them. Diligence to your partner and the relationship is the counter for the sin known as sloth.

3.   Gluttony

Among the 7 deadly sins of marriage, you might consider this one less harmful. However, on the contrary, it can be quite damaging. Gluttony means indulgence in the excessive consumption of anything. This can include food, drinks, and also harmful substances like alcohol and drugs too. Destructive or addictive practices like this not only affect your health but your relationship as well.

Addictions don’t leave much room for your partner in your life. For example, if you were addicted to alcohol, it can cause you to spend your own and your partner’s money in the search for more alcohol. You’ll find yourself leaving your partner so that you can drink alone, and worst of all, you might even engage in acts of violence (both mental and physical) against your partner.

Gluttony does not build trust and affection in a relationship; rather, it destroys it. You can begin to lose your individual worth and self-respect, which can impact how you treat your partner. It can impact how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship and how your partner views your personality too.

Your partner can begin to feel despair and loneliness since they will be most likely unable to fight against your vices. It can make them feel hopeless against this seemingly invincible enemy.

By avoiding the abuse of such substances and excesses, you will be decreasing your dependency on them and become more independent within the relationship. Being temperate can help you against the sin of gluttony.

4.   Wrath

Wrath comes with feelings of hatred, rage, and anger. Intolerance and impatience are some basic characters of wrath. Instead of being patient and understanding if you are angry with your partner all the time, it can cause your downfall in the marriage.

You need to keep in mind that everyone can make mistakes, and such instances shouldn’t be met with negative feelings of wrath. Facing life with positive emotions like humor and kindness can make you see that seemingly bad things may not be as bad as you once thought. By spending time on controlling your emotions, you will add to your marriage.

There are many things that can help you get in better touch with your emotions and how to handle them. Seeking help, practicing meditation, doing yoga, and even reading religious books like the Bible can bring peace to your soul. Whenever you feel like you need to cool your head, you can take a walk, do breathing exercises, or pen down your feelings so that you can connect with them in a better way.

Overcoming wrath as one of the 7 deadly sins of marriage includes working on how you speak to your partner.  You shouldn’t always say the first thing that comes to your mind. By thinking carefully and abstaining from violence against your partner, you can deal with issues and problems in a much healthier way. Remember, by violence, it just doesn’t mean physical violence; it can also be emotional and verbal.

Patience is the direct opposite of displays of wrath. A good dose of patience can be the virtue that helps you fight against any raging impulses.

5.   Envy

Envy is a harmful emotion that finds delight in the suffering of others and wants to take away good things from others. If you feel envious when you see your partner succeeding and feel better when they don’t, it can be a serious sin in the marriage.

In a relationship, it is important never to belittle the spouse. There can be many stories that you hear where a partner is envious of their spouse’s career success. They can try and make it harder for them to find success in their field since they are inherently envious of their salary, position, or work in relation to their own.

It is important to treat your partner as an equal in every way. If they are better at something than you, instead of trying to take that away from them, you should contribute to and support their success.  When your partner doesn’t succeed or comes up short, instead of being happy, you need to empathize with their sorrows.  Being happy for their accomplishments is the basic support that partners need to provide. Even if it means you are out of the spotlight, it is perfectly alright.

6.   Greed

Among the 7 deadly sins of marriage, greed is a sin of excess. Greed is based on the need to acquire material things as a primary need. For example, if you are the sole earner and provider of the family, this does not mean that all the money is yours.

If both the partners are working, it is important not to keep track of the profits made by each individual as if it’s a competition. You can each contribute a sum for the family into one joint bank account so that none of you feels like one is contributing more than the other. Dealing with finances in a marriage is a real reality that you should not overlook since as it will begin to impact how you see each other.

Another thing is to never obsess over making money all the time as well. It is very rare for someone to actually feel like their savings amount is enough. While saving and thinking about finances is important when it comes to living a relaxed life, it is not the primary thing of focus in life. Your job shouldn’t take over your entire life. Remember, we earn so that the rest of our life is better for it, we don’t earn because that is the primary reason for living.

Instead, spending time with your partner and family while enjoying the fruits of your labor can be a much better way to live your life. What good is it to save your riches and goods but never enjoy them? The answer to the sin of greed is generosity in life.

7.   Pride

Pride is definitely the mother of the 7 deadly sins of marriage. Arrogance, insolence, vanity, and vainglory can completely ruin the marriage. Pride stems from the feeling of enmity and such hostility towards the world, and the relationship can definitely have a negative impact on your life.

A proud individual will never accept their mistake and apologize. In a relationship, this attitude can take shape in the form of a deadly weapon. If one or both partners in the relationship aren’t humble enough to ask the other for forgiveness, it can show that you don’t truly respect your partner.

Recognizing the labor, gifts, talent, and abilities that your partner brings to the table is never up for discussion. You should always control your ego in a relationship and come from a place of equal humbleness in the relationship. By recognizing their efforts, you can show them that they mean something to you deeply.

By being a constant companion and friend to the partner you vowed to spend the rest of your days with, you will be adding to the relationship instead of taking some crucial away. Humility is the counter for this deadly sin.

Conclusion

Any of these sins is detrimental to a marriage since they affect how you respond to your partner and their needs. Indulging in any of these sins above can lead to conflicts in the marriage that can be hard to overcome with dedicated work and changes.

These 7 deadly sins of marriage can impact your relationship with the partner in a fundamental way. It is better to be mindful of them so that you don’t cause irreparable damage to the relationship. Staying kind, empathetic, focused, and mindful of your partner can make sure that you are more open to their needs.

If you feel like you have burdened your partner with any of these sins and you need help to fix the damage, don’t be afraid to ask for help either. Couples coaching with a professional relationship coach can help you overcome some obstacles in your marriage. It can make you happier and healthier to exist with each other.

By Antonio & Laura Moore  – June 15, 2020 © 2020 Marriage Means Moore – Built Marriage Tough® All Rights Reserved

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