For Richer…For Poorer – Coping with Finances and Marriage. Think about it, you were on top of the world when you said ‘I do’ to the person you madly, truly and deeply loved At this stage of life, nothing meant more than your life partner. When you’re in love, money is not a topic of importance. However, as time passes and life’s distractions enter into your relationship reality sets in.
Money becomes a vital part of your life, especially when your family grows, and you must make ends meet, such as day-to-day expenditures, lifestyle expenses, medical, and more. Although your marriage vows do promise ‘for richer, for poorer’, but ‘for poorer’ can create friction and bring a lot of stress in a relationship that was once ’happy’…
For Richer…For Poorer – Money & Marriage
Unfortunately, financial crisis is one of the leading causes for divorces and break-ups. In fact, 22% of all divorces occur because of money related issues. However, this doesn’t have to be the same for every couple. In most cases, couples call it a quit because they get overwhelmed and instead of learning ways to cope with financial crisis in their marriage, couples start blaming each other. And such attitude is damaging.
When you are in a financial crisis, you need to support each other and work through it like a team. As experts in financial coaching, here are some tips that we think that every couple should know in order to handle and deal with a financial crisis maturely and like one unit, because money doesn’t have to be a source of conflict and reason to end a happy relationship.
Keep Open Communication and Discuss the Situation Like Two Grown Ups
Coping with Financial Crisis in Your Marriage is stressful. It can get the best of you, if you don’t discuss your issues, insecurities about money, and fears with your better half. At such a time in life, you need to communicate openly with your spouse. Talk to each other honestly, so that you both can work out a solution amicably and move forward together as a happily married couple and not part ways.
Many couples often have one partner manage their finances to avoid conflicts but can be harmful in the long run because financial decisions affect both partners; therefore, both partners should work together to manage their finances. Remember that, shouldering financial worries alone and keeping secrets is unhealthy, and the repercussions can damage your relationship.
No More Blame Games
For Richer…For Poorer – Coping with Finances and Marriage but don’t forget you both are in financial crisis. Now is not the best time to play the blame game. Both of you can reflect on it and debrief once the situation is sorted out. But for now, make sure you don’t waste your time and energy on pointing fingers. Sit down and look for ways on how to deal with it. Stubbornness and disagreement from both sides will only escalate financial stress and thus, lower your ability to tackle the situation.
This can be challenging because what may matter to you, may not be as important to your spouse, but you both need to put your differences aside and think logically. Work cohesively to prioritize the things that value to you both the most. Create a prioritized list mutually and then make sure to follow it diligently and dedication with full cooperation and support.
Set Goals and Strive to Achieve Them
The next step is to set goals. By keeping your priority list in focus, set your financial goals so that you and your partner can work towards it. For example, let’s say your goal is to make credit card debt payments. In order to achieve this goal, you will have to come up with a plan such as no more shopping on credit cards. Another thing that you can do is to cut your cards or put them out of your wallets.
When you will not have access to credit cards, you will not shop impulsively and hence will be able to save money and lower additional debt. Also, when you shop less in general you will be able to pay off your card bills with the saved money much needed to cope with financial crisis.
Acknowledge and Accept Changing Emotions
Negative emotions like guilt, frustration, and bitterness associated with financial stress can have a negative impact on your relationship with your spouse. But here it is important to understand that such emotions are natural. However, dealing with them together can most certainly help a marriage stay away from the damaging effects.
So how do you deal with it? Simply flow with your emotions, acknowledge them and embrace them but use their force to combat the stress together instead of arguing with each other.
Make a Real Budget
Write your goals on paper and then share your vision on how to materialize them. Agree with your partner on a budget and then make sure that you both commit to it. However, if you have any concerns or hesitations, make sure that you express them clearly, before committing to the budget. This is important to avoid conflicts down the line when things get in the implementation stage.
Also, when deciding on a budget, evaluate your lifestyle implications of your new plan. Clarify your choices and sacrifices that you are willing to make together as a team. Create a budget that’s works to resolve your financial crisis. For Richer…For Poorer – Money & Marriage can’t break you if your creating a budget and sticking to it!
Stay Positive and in Control
For Richer…For Poorer – Money & Marriage. Indeed, things will get messy, and sometimes you may even think that things aren’t going as planned, at this stage, you’ll be tempted to throw your towel and accept defeat. But remember that calling a quit will make the situation worse. Therefore, it is advisable to keep a cool head and rely on a mutual support system. Bring out the best and believe in each other. More importantly, follow your anti-stress financial plan stubbornly, without giving up. This attitude will help you overcome your financial crisis successfully.
If you want other great tips on how to cope with the financial crisis in your marriage, then enroll in our financial coaching program. In this program, we teach couples to communicate in a constructive way regarding money, build budgets, and show them ways to get on track with their finances. Give us a chance to help you save your marriage and finances. Need to talk with a professional relationship coach? Contact Marriage Means Moore for a FREE Consultation!
For Richer…For Poorer – Coping with Finances and Marriage, let us help save your relationship and Stop the Financial Crisis!.