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13 Differences Between Fake Love & Real Love

Are you wondering whether what you have with your partner is real love or fake love? Consider these 13 differences to know better!  People do not always say what they mean when they are in a relationship. Sometimes, your partner may find it challenging to express their thoughts and say something that causes a miscommunication. Other times, your partner might not know what they want themselves and end up giving you ‘mixed signals.’

For example, consider a person fresh out of a breakup immediately getting into another relationship without thinking where it would lead them. People often make this mistake by thinking they are ready to commit.

However, somewhere down the line, they realize they cannot deliver the things initially promised. This ultimately results in heartbreak, as there is always one partner giving it their all to the relationship while the other one does not know what to feel or how to react. This ambivalence is a characteristic of fake love because it involves pretending and leading on by a partner when they know there is no future together. That piece of information is deliberately hidden from their partner, which worsens the situation in the end.

Other times, some people know exactly what they want and will do anything to get that, even if it means lying to your face. They may charm you into bed, and the second they are done, they flee the scene. Again, this is far from true love.

Real Love vs. Fake Love

So, how do you know if what you have with your partner is real love or fake love? Is it something you can catch from the things your partner says? We do not think it is that easy. We already established that fake relationships involve lying to your partner to save your face. What other ways can you use to identify real love and protect your heart?

The answer is simple – a real lover is someone who shows love and treats you with respect. If your partner is serious about you, they would help you through thick and thin and care for you unconditionally, regardless of the way you look and your financial status.

On the other hand, a fake lover only loves and adores you in your good times. The moment a challenging situation comes your way, they leave your hand and escape the hard times that might affect their happy-go-lucky lifestyle. However, being able to tell if you are in a real relationship or a toxic one is not easy.

Consider these 13 following comparisons:

1- Sacrifice vs. Self-Concern

Does your partner take your feelings into consideration while making a decision that affects you both? It could be the smallest of things, such as deciding where to go out on a date or what to order from the food menu. While real love is all about sacrifice and mutual decisions, fake love is not. In fact, fake lovers only think about themselves even if their decision reflects badly on their partner. In other words, mock-up love is always selfish, as it only cares for itself.

2- Connection vs. Correction

You might see some couples and be in awe of them as they complete each other’s sentences and know their significant partner’s train of thought without any explanation. You might think of it as borderline psychic, but the fact is that they simply pay attention to each other when they talk.

There is nothing complicated about it. True partners make it their priority to cultivate the habit of responding when their lovers try to make a connection with them. Furthermore, that connection is not just bound to serious discussions. When your partner thinks of you as important, they listen to the smallest things carefully, even if they are of no importance whatsoever.

However, if the relationship is fake, your partner might not give you a second thought, even when you are discussing something that you think is important. Along with apathetic ‘hmm’ and shrugs, your partner might even try to correct your thoughts just to make themselves feel superior. If that is the case with you, this is a clear indicator that you are in a toxic relationship.

3- Kind vs. Cruel

Real love is about compassion and generosity, while fake love is heartless at its best. While a true love gives you more care and love than you could even expect, a sham lover only offers you pain, cruelty, and the kind of bad treatment you should not deserve.

For instance, suppose you are trying to explain your actions to your partner that might have hurt somebody in your social circle. In this situation, a true lover will always try to understand your version of the story before giving any reaction. However, a fake lover will not give you a moment to say something before bombarding you with malicious allegations.

4- Transparency vs. Darkness

You will know its true love if you and your partner encourage each other to be completely honest, even if the truth is not something you would like. However, this transparency in a relationship eliminates all the doubts and insecurities, giving way to faithful and unconditional love in the long term.

On the other hand, fake love relishes in making lies and establishing relationships on shaky foundations. It thrives in the darkness of these lies and offers no enlightenment, no matter how sincere the other partner tends to be. While an honest relationship requires you to know your partner’s deepest secrets, fake love strikes to take advantage of using lies and deception.

5- Patient vs. Short-Tempered

Real love is patient, and it can endure as well as encourage partners to forgive each other’s mistakes instead of getting angry. It does not mean that you and your partner are given free rein to do as you like without respecting each other’s requests. Instead, it means to let go of the faults while promising and standing by those vows to change for the better.

Fake lovers do not have the patience to forgive their partner’s shortcomings, and they rather judge and punish them with hurtful words, destroying their relationship in the process. Moreover, if your partner does not even realize afterward that this is not the way of handling things, it means you two need to have a detailed discussion about the matter rationally. If it is not possible to have a reasoned talk, it might be time to let go of the toxic relationship before it drowns you in a chain of self-hate and pity.

6- Humble vs. Proud

Humility is the base of a real relationship, as it is not interested in taking credit. True lovers admit their mistakes and take responsibility for their own and their partner’s actions. They do not pride themselves, thinking about being superior to others. In fact, they do not let their partners down even if it means to let themselves down for a good cause.

However, it is crucial to understand that this should always be two-sided in real love. Simply put, what you give is what you receive in a relationship. If it is only one-sided, it automatically involves the element of excessive pride for the partner who does not think it essential enough to bend down for their lover to save them from humiliation.

7- Grateful vs. Envious

True lovers are always grateful to have their partners in their lives. They feel blessed for your presence and treasure everything you give them, including the happy moments as well as the emotional baggage. Moreover, they think of your accomplishments as something to be joyful about, unlike fake love that only carries out envy and greed.

Fake relationships always leave the partners unsatisfied and bitter as they dwell over each other’s accomplishments, comparing themselves to the next best thing. Furthermore, they get easily jealous of others who might have possession of things that are, from their perspective, better than what they have themselves.

8- Complete vs. Empty

While true love completes you and makes you feel whole, fake love always leaves an emptiness behind even if you and your partner spend every spare second together. Love that is not based on a meaningful foundation can impact your relationship with your partner because it can never turn your dreams into reality. Furthermore, real love does not ask for anything more than a true connection and healthy communication, as that is all anyone needs to feel at peace when they are with the right partner.

9- Respectful vs. Taken for Granted

True lovers respect each and everything associated with their partners, be it their dreams, their opinions, or their decisions. They encourage their significant others to act upon their wishes because seeing them happy makes them satisfied. They never think of their aspirations as something that should be neglected under any circumstances.

On the other hand, fake lovers take their partners for granted. The arrogance they exhibit towards their partner is usually taken as playfulness by others. However, disrespecting your partner’s likes and dislikes and taking them as a joke is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. That is because it shows that your partner might not think of you as important enough to consider your feelings, taking you as an inferior person whose thoughts do not count.

10- Protection vs. Hurtful

If you think that true love is not hurtful, then that is a fluke. If the love is real, there will be lots of open and honest communication between both partners, which often gives way to painful discussions. However, opening yourself to these hurtful conversations is meant to protect you in the long run. When a relationship is honest, no turbulence can shake it.

However, fake love does not involve deep, honest conversations. Instead, it destroys you as a person and damages your relationship bit by bit with hurtful allegations and false satisfaction.

11- Hopeful vs. Unplanned

True lovers always include their partners in their future, seeing them as someone with whom they can spend their entire life. That is mainly why they never stop fighting for their relationship, even when it is struggling. Real love gives hope to both partners as they are equally devoted to making the relationship work.

On the other hand, fake lovers do not deem their partners worthy enough to include them in their plans. They also give up easily on each other as they never think about including their partners in their life for more than the present.

12- Intent vs. Neglect

True love is intentional. It does not mean you purposefully fall in love. Instead, this statement simply means that once your partner starts caring about you from their heart, they make it their priority to deliver what they promised and much more. While there are always promises involved in fake relationships, these assurances are plain words that do not hold any virtue. In reality, fake lovers leave their partners with negligent excuses and unfulfilled obligations.

13- Stronger vs. Weakening

Real love never fades or loses its charm after a while. Instead, people who are truly in love only feel their connection getting stronger with each passing day. The sacrifices they make for each other enhance their trust and inspire others to do the same.

On the other hand, fake love is all about the present chemistry as it wanes with time and eventually collapses. It lives shortly in your life and is easily forgotten. That is primarily when the partners might establish materialistic priorities rather than emotional.

Relationships are one of the most beautiful things that should never be treated as less than a prime concern. If you have any questions related to your relationship or if you’re looking for our advice for maintaining long-term partnerships, we offer a free consultation session to guide you on the right path.  Join the Built Marriage Tough Team, and let us build a healthier future full of happiness and love!

If you would like to speak with an experienced Marriage Coach, about any other challenges or obstacles facing your marriage we offer a variety of resources for couples or you can contact us for a FREE Consultation.  Pick up a copy of our book “How Communicating Saved Our Marriage”.

By Antonio & Laura Moore, Relationship & Marriage Coach – October 20, 2020 Marriage Means Moore Inc.  All Rights Reserved #builtmarriagetough
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