Maintaining a Marriage | Things To Do After The Wedding
The summer wedding season is almost upon us, and thousands of couples are probably reaching the last stages of their wedding plans. A lot of couples may be so focused on ensuring that their wedding day is perfect that they forget about the life they plan on living together. The wedding is definitely an important day that you should give your attention to, but some thought also needs to go into the time after the wedding.
The marriage that follows the wedding should also grab your attention. You and your partner are about to embark on a long-time journey that involves a lot of ups and downs. To successfully maintain your life after the wedding, you must implement some things in your relationship. Here are some tips that you should note to make sure that your life after the wedding is peaceful and great.
Right Before the Wedding
If you want a good life after the wedding, it doesn’t mean that you can’t start working beforehand either. The time leading up to the marriage is also crucial for the relationship. The few weeks or months before the wedding should also be spent celebrating your love and affirming the relationship. If you spend your time focused on this rather than letting wedding planning ruin it for you, you will have a much more successful wedding.
Your wedding day will come and go in a whirlwind, but committing to showing kindness and thoughtfulness can set you up with a marriage that will last a lifetime. While it can be fun to hear all the speeches on the day and plan a menu that you want to go crazy with, the vital thing to remember is that you shouldn’t drive a wench in the relationship over something as insignificant as the centerpiece.
Treating Love as a Verb
Love is not just a feeling, but rather an action. If you commit to doing random acts of kindness for your partner, it can mean more to them than a flashy gift. This doesn’t mean that you stop making big, exciting gestures to bring a spark to your relationship.
All it means is that a solid marriage has to include a collection of small surprises and tokens of appreciation. After the wedding, you should focus on keeping the romance and love alive by making sure you take the time to ensure that your partner’s life is sweet.
Dating Your Partner
After the wedding, don’t forget to continue dating as well. It can be a great bonding experience to dress up and have fun together. Trying new experiences together should never stop even after you are married. If you stop the dating part of your relationship, your partner may also be disappointed since they probably expect that from the relationship. They will be sorely shocked to learn that you were just doing it to woo them.
A marriage will be a success if you continue to create fun memories together. Dressing up every now and then to enjoy a delicious dinner or going away for the weekend can be a great date. It doesn’t even have to be the fanciest of places or break the bank; you need to focus on each other and have fun together.
Monitoring your Netflix and chill can also be a good idea. Studies have found that talking about movies that have romantic connotations can reduce the divorce rate by half (Stoeffel, 2014). Watching lighthearted films together can also be therapeutic since it allows you to indulge a little. The movies can also remind couples to put some relationship skills into practice.
While actions are important, words also matter. Couples who have stayed together for many years say that they make it a regular effort to say I love you to each other. Saying it to the other person, especially in situations where you are fighting or having a tough moment, can be really important. Affirmations of love can make your partner feel good and will make it easier to persevere through any problems in the marriage.
Stating and hearing these expressions of love will make any person feel good. It can be a great reason for people to compromise and make an effort to maintain a successful marriage after work.
Loving Contact and Touch
Another mode of communication that you can’t ignore is the communication of touch. A loving, gentle contact can be a wonderful way to show affection. People often love being on the receiving end of their partner’s kisses, hugs, or even some hand-holding. Yes, sex is also important, but some physical contact outside of the bedroom can be impactful and meaningful too. You can give your partner a small shoulder rub, pat them as they walk by, slow dance in the kitchen, cuddle while watching Netflix, or greet each other with hugs.
Looking for Positives
Instead of focusing on critiquing the partner, focus on commenting on the positive things. Partners who make an effort to look for positive aspects of their partners are able to find it. The result can be a loving, joyful, and caring relationship that is based on mutual appreciation.
Being Mutual With Loved Ones
Taking the time to get to your partner’s family and friends will be the right way to start your marriage after the wedding. Spending more time with your partner will be easier if you get along with their friends and family. Even if their extended family is difficult, to say the least, it is still important to get along with everyone to appease the person you love.
If you find ways to keep them in your life for a longer time, it can be a great way to spend time with your partner too. Showing interest and care into your partner’s loved ones will show them that you care about maintaining your life with them. You should never ask your partner to choose between you and them, or else you will lose.
Get Independent Interests
After the wedding, you may still be in the honeymoon phase, where you want to spend all your time together. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other, turning your life into theirs can be a bad move. You should definitely maintain your individuality and identity to continue to be interesting after the wedding.
Developing a separate hobby on your own or having your own friends circle is important. It is crucial not to be dependent on your partner to have a social life. This means that if you are fighting, it can be hard to have your friends pick a side without it getting messy. You should also be able to vent to your friends sometimes before it becomes a whole thing.
Stories about your different experiences can also help to enrich your relationship. Introducing new hobbies, ideas, and people will help you grow together and expand your world.
Couple bubbles are the best way to maintain a relationship since they provide you comfort, security, and safety. It’s a cocoon that is created by the promises and values that you make, which protect you from any external forces. For example, something bad happens at work or with your friends. You go back home and cuddle with your partner. You tell them about what happened during your day, and they comfort you.
The couple bubble will make you feel safe and secure. You can share your plans, desires, goals, and values with your partner. This helps to make sure that you are in sync with each other.
Every couple will have fights eventually, no matter how much effort you put into staying in the honeymoon period. This is where it gets real, and you have to learn how to fight with each other in a better way. Fighting and bickering are normal since emotions can take over, and no one is perfect. But, even in such heated moments, you should learn to take care of your partner and yourself.
Going after mutual relief as fast as you can and looking for win/win solutions is an important step. You should wave a friendly white flag as soon as you can if you see that your partner is overly stressed, fearful, or angry. You can even choose a funny safe word that you can use to take a breather, like ‘booty.’ It will make your partner chuckle, and you can calm down to come up with a better solution.
Discuss Pet Peeves
After the wedding, you should think about sitting down and discussing pet peeves. Somebody can have a hard time with chewing sounds or not cleaning the sink after your morning routine. Setting these boundaries and discussing these pet peeves lightly and respectfully is a good idea. It can decrease resentment and daily annoyances. When your partner is careful about your boundaries, it can also show that you mean a lot to them. This can be a good experience for you both.
Saying Thank You
Studies show that couples who take the time out to show gratitude to one another tend to engage in more positive and constructive behaviors as well as feel closer to their partners (Allen, 2018). They are more likely to remain committed to each other. They are also more responsive to their partner’s efforts and feelings since they have a habit of acknowledging them often.
Showing gratitude to your partner makes the other person feel appreciated and more secure in the relationship. It can increase their commitment to the relationship as well as help them feel more satisfied with each other. Even small things like washing the dishes, picking you your partner up from work, chatting with your loved ones, or any other effort should be recognized with a small thank you. It will help show your partner that you recognize the effort that they’re putting into the relationship.
Abandon the Ex
This may feel like a non-issue to you, but being close enough with an ex to spill tea or share good news can become a problem. It can seem like a small thing, but in this day and age of social media and hyper-connectivity, disconnecting with your exes is vital.
You shouldn’t have one-on-one contact with your ex unless you have a child together. At worst, it can make your partner feel suspicious. It is an unnecessary thing that you have to remove from your life to make your partner feel better about the whole thing.
Marriage is definitely hard to maintain over a long period of time. After the wedding, the first year is especially crucial to adjust to each other and establish a wholesome relationship. Of course, a lot of people have helpful advice about never going to bed angry with each other, but it can be hard to do in reality.
During the first year as a married couple, it is incredibly important to put in extra effort to ensure that you set a strong foundation for a future of happiness. If you focus on making sure that you don’t develop bad habits at the beginning that can trap you later, you will be able to experience a successful marriage later on.
When you get married, it can be hard to imagine living together for the rest of your life. The few lessons above are a great way to get your marriage off to a good start after the wedding. Do make sure to take into account how your personal relationship is shaped and implement these things accordingly. Want to talk with a professional relationship coach? Contact Marriage Means Moore for a FREE Consultation!
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