Marriage is a sacred relationship in which both partners are expected to live happily and bring out the best in each other. But since no relationship is perfect and no two people are the same, conflicts and arguments are bound to happen at some point. Occasional fights which are resolved amicably are healthy, but if they become a norm and you don’t do anything to fix the situation, then your relationship could do you more harm than good to you. Therefore, in such a situation, it’s important that you both sit down and think your relationship through in order to make it work before your sacred bond turns toxic. Although every relationship has its ups and downs, things can get really ugly when the downs are far more frequent and impactful than the rare ups. It is not just hard to be in, but also truly difficult to survive in a relationship that is thoroughly toxic and has no love.
So, to protect yourself from self-destruction and breakage, it is very important to understand what exactly a toxic relationship is, the tell-tale signs of one, and what should you do to control the situation before living under one roof with your partner becomes a nightmare.
A Toxic Relationship—What Is It?
A toxic relationship can be best defined as a relationship that contaminates your self-esteem, happiness, and the way you see the world and yourself. These relationships start out healthy, but bad history, feelings, and unmet needs can fester and pollute them. This can happen quickly, easily, and to anyone. Simply stated, couples fail to see the good in each other and thus negativity takes over.
Tell-Tale Signs That You’re in a Toxic Relationship
Here are some of the signs that you should look out for. If you happen to identify with more than one of the signs then consider getting help to eliminate the toxicity from your relationship.
You Are Never Happy
Persistent unhappiness is the first and perhaps the most obvious sign of them all. If your marriage has stopped bringing joy and you consistently feel anxious, angry, sad, and envious of happy couples then it may be toxic.
But wait, don’t be too quick to judge. Look for more signs before you call it quits.
You Are Always Surrounded by Negative Energy
Negative shifts in your personality, self-esteem, and mental health are all a result of dealing with negative and toxic emotions in your relationship. These changes can lead to a variety of clinical conditions like eating disorders, depression, and anxiety. Additionally, you will also feel uncomfortable and nervous around your partner. All this can drain you mentally, physically, and emotionally.
All Give, No Take
It is extremely hard to hold on to a relationship if all the work, compromise, and love are coming from you while your partner doesn’t care much. If that is the case, a time will come when you will begin to feel lonely and exhausted. This is why all give and no take relationships are a complete disaster.
So, if your partner is making no effort at all to show their love, spend time with you, or do things that are important to you, then it’s time to seek help before you breakdown and lose yourself completely.
Another sign that you need to watch out for is constant judgment. A toxic partner will continue to criticize and belittle you. This toxic behavior can include comments such as:
- “You’re wearing too much make-up”
- “You look fat”
- “Cut your hair”
- “This dress doesn’t look good on you”
- “You will never understand”
So, if you go through this regularly, then there’s a problem because everyday criticism at every little thing can strip away your self-esteem and confidence.
Clear Imbalance of Control and Power
As marriage is a union between two people, ideally, it is expected that both partners make big decisions together especially about their relationship, children, and future. Loving partners in a healthy relationship value each other’s opinions and thoughts. However, in a toxic relationship, things don’t work this way. In such relationships, the imbalance of power and control is clearly obvious.
Lack of Trust
Trust is a core element of a healthy and happy relationship. Once the trust breaks, it is very hard to rebuild. A relationship that lacks trust can eventually turn anyone, even the strongest of people, into someone that they are not—insecure, suspicious, and jealous.
Keep in mind that it’s not your fault that your partner broke your trust, but it is most certainly up to you to decide whether or not you want to continue with your relationship. If you’re willing to forgive and forget and move forward with your partner then it is crucial that you both put efforts to repair the broken trust.
No Respect for Privacy
A tell-tale sign of a toxic relationship is when your partner doesn’t respect your privacy. If they continue to suspect you and constantly go through your phone bills, receipts, and text messages, then that clearly indicates trust issues.
Give Marriage Coaching a Chance
As relationships grow and evolve over time, some level of toxicity can kick in. However, the best way to save your marriage and relationship from falling apart is to seek marriage coaching. At Marriage Means Moore, our experienced counselor can sit with you and your partner to discuss your issues and resolve them amicably and mutually.
We can teach you exercises and provide you with tools to develop strong communication skills and rebuild trust — all much-needed tools to heal wounds of betrayal and revitalize your marriage. We’ll show you how to nurture a healthy, loving, and happy relationship.
So, don’t let toxicity take a toll on your marriage. Give your marriage a chance and make things work. Sometimes, couples don’t realize what they have until they lose it. Seek help now from our expert! We have helped many couples regain lost trust and fall in love again. We can help you too.