How to Repair Your Relationship after Cheating? One can safely say that infidelity can shake up and sometimes destroy a loving relationship. Things can get particularly ugly when it involves a married couple with children. Once a relationship has been scarred by infidelity, moving forward can be extremely difficult. Some couples may call it quits while others may be willing to give their relationship another chance. However, to make things work, both the unfaithful and the betrayed partner need to take a fresh start and put their best foot forward to repair and rebuild their relationship after cheating.
If you are in the same boat, here are some great tips from our expert marriage counselors to help you and your partner with the relationship rebuilding process.
Keep Communication Open
Although healthy communication is vital to strengthen any relationship, it becomes absolutely necessary once someone’s trust has been broken. In such a situation, open and clear communication helps as it allows both partners to open up, talk honestly and share their feelings on the subject.
However, when arguing, both partners need to make sure that they don’t hit below the belt by bringing up the past and blaming each other for their relationship going south. If this happens time and again, you will never be able to move forward and heal your relationship. This brings us to the next tip and that is to become more present-oriented. Read on to find out what this means.
You and your partner need to make a conscious decision to become more present-oriented. This will help both sides to let go of the past and focus on nurturing the relationship that you share today. Apart from this, it is also very important to stay in the present and not bring up the past because it will hurt you more.
By rethinking your partner’s decision to cheat on you, it will not help you stay or think positively about them. It will arouse feelings of anger, hate and bitterness toward them and you’ll always feel insecure, wondering when they will cheat on you next. Therefore, bury the past and focus on the present. It is the best way to stay happy and build a future.
Now let’s look at this from the perspective of each partner separately and see what each partner should do to rebuild the relationship and reignite love.
If you’re the one who cheated, then here’s what you need to do to avoid being in the hot mess again and lay the foundation of trust in order to save the beautiful relationship that you almost destroyed for something meaningless.
Acknowledge Your Mistake and Apologize Sincerely
To start the healing process, it’s important to admit that you did wrong. Sit with your partner and apologize to them sincerely. You need to recognize your mistake that caused your partner pain. You need to take full responsibility for your actions and show your willingness that you’ll never do it again.
Delete the Other Person from Your Life
By this we mean, you need to cut off all kinds of communication with the other man or woman who you were involved with. This means no sex, no chatting, no phone calls, no texting or hangouts. You must cease all interactions with the person you cheated with. This is perhaps one of the best ways to assure your partner that you’ve ended your affair for good and you’re 100 percent committed to moving forward in the current relationship.
Allow Time to Heal
If you expect your partner to forgive you right away and act as nothing happened, then that’s unrealistic. You need to try hard to win back their affection and, at the same time, give them time to heal. Remember that forgiveness doesn’t happen instantly. After all, you violated moral codes. So, give some space to your partner to sink in all the information and see if they are actually willing to forgive you from deep down inside. It can take months and sometimes even a year before they forgive you. So, be patient and work harder than ever to regain their trust.
Keep in mind that if they have any questions about why you cheated, what made you cheat or who you cheated with, you need to answer them clearly and with sheer honesty. If you shut them down or imply that they should drop it, this attitude will make the situation worse. So, stay calm and answer all their ambiguities. Remember that the decision is theirs, whether they want to forgive you or not.
If you’re the one who has been betrayed, then here are some steps to cope with the aftermath of betrayal:
Accept Your Feelings but Don’t Make Rash Decisions
After finding out that your partner cheated, you’re likely to feel like you are on an emotional roller-coaster. Your mind will be flooded with emotions like agitation, depression, confusion, shock, pain, and fear. This happens because you know that after the act of infidelity, your relationship will not be the same.
However, if you still have feelings for your unfaithful partner, then you should be willing to forgive. Expect to have a mixture of feelings but the important thing is to make sure that you don’t make rash decisions like file for a divorce or cheat on them.
Seek Marriage Coaching
Since it’s not easy to forgive an unfaithful partner and overcome the trauma that you’re going through, we advise you to seek professional help. You and your partner should consult with a licensed marriage coach so that they can guide you on the best way to restore trust in your relationship and move past the affair.
This is where we can help. At Marriage Means Moore, we have helped many couples deal with infidelity and cheating and come out stronger than before. We can share with you expert tips and suggest you the best possible ways to repair your relationship after cheating. Need to talk with a professional relationship coach? Contact Marriage Means Moore for a FREE Consultation!
Let us help save your relationship and make a fresh start.