Marriage is a beautiful but complex relationship, and the truth is that it takes more than love to keep a marriage alive forever. This means that a marriage can go sour even if both the partners are still deeply in love with each other. To keep this from happening, it is essential to know the signs of trouble in your marriage. If you can spot these red flags in your relationship, you can take action to save your marriage before it’s too late.
Keep in mind that enormous full-blown fights are not the only signs of a failing marriage. More often than not, the red flags are subtler than that, which makes it even more difficult to spot them and fix your marriage. Let’s take a look at the top five signs that indicate that your marriage might be in trouble.
1. You Avoid Conflict
Couples who avoid conflict are more likely to hold grudges and harbor resentment against each other. The negative feelings multiply over time until it becomes impossible to hold them in. So, while sweeping your problems under the carpet may seem like a good strategy, it is the worst thing you can do to your relationship in the long term. Experts believe that couples who avoid conflict instead of discussing their problems often feel unsafe or insecure while sharing their feeling with each other. This is a big red flag, which is likely to put an end to the relationship at some point.
It is important to understand that disagreeing—and even fighting—is a healthy mechanism to solve problems. Even if you are madly in love, it is just unnatural to never argue about anything. So, if you notice this problem in your relationship, know that it is one of the biggest threats. However, if you realize the problem in time, it is possible to work through this one and lead a happy life with your partner.
2. Intimacy is Non-Existent
Intimacy is not only about what happens in the bedroom. It refers to all the small actions like holding hands, cuddling, hugging, playing with hair, a peck on the cheek, or even simply touching. People in healthy relationships show this behavior, so not feeling the need to touch your partner in any way can be a sign of trouble. Living with your partner should not feel the same as living with a roommate. Intimacy is a necessity of marriage and acts as the building block of your relationship.
Keep in mind that intimacy is not the same as sex, which means you may still share a healthy sexual life with your partner even if there is no intimacy. This makes it difficult to notice when intimacy fizzles out. However, it is important to realize that intimacy is more important than a sexual relationship. Therefore, pay close attention to your behavior around your partner to make sure your relationship is not losing the element of intimacy.
3. Awkward Silence
Have you been experiencing awkward silences with your partners? Do you often find yourself looking at the phone or finding distractions when you are around them? Is it becoming more and more difficult to hold fun and lively conversations with them? If yes, take this change in your behavior as a sign that your marriage may be in trouble. It is a sign that you are having trouble communicating with your partner.
A lack of communication leads to all sorts of problems, including emotional distress and unresolved negative feelings. It is the first indicator of a lack of willingness to solve marital problems. Keep in mind that these behaviors develop very gradually. So, it might be difficult to pinpoint it. You and your partner won’t just stop talking, but long, meaningful conversations that both partners can enjoy will slowly disappear. Hanging out with your partner will become awkward, and your time together will be more focused on making small talk.
While it may seem counter-intuitive, spending all your time with your partner is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Codependency is never a healthy element in any relationship. Experts believe that couples who are codependent on each other are more likely to lose the spark in a relationship. Plus, they are highly susceptible to developing insecure behaviors. So, if you want to spend every second with your partner—especially after the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over—you probably already know that your relationship is failing.
Remember, people in healthy relationships enjoy each other’s company and love to spend time together. However, they also need some space. If you are ignoring your friends or giving up things you enjoy to spend all your time with your partner, you may want to take a step back and analyze your relationship to see if it’s headed in the right direction.
5. Bringing Up the Past
There’s no denying that everyone makes mistakes as no one is perfect. However, people in healthy relationships focus on the future once they decide to move past the mistakes. Forgiveness is a big part of every relationship, especially marriage. So, if you or your partner keeps bringing up the mistakes of the past after you have decided to move on from it, it might be a sign that your marriage is in trouble.
It shows that you are unable to look past each other’s mistakes, and there are unresolved feelings and issues in the mix. This eventually leads to resentment between partners, which is one of the biggest reasons why marriages end.
If you notice any of these top 5 red flags in your marriage, don’t wait to seek professional. Remember, the love that you feel for your partner can easily get buried under all the pent up negative emotions. However, it is always possible to rediscover that love. Instead of giving up on your marriage, it is best to contact a relationship coach and rediscover the love that first brought you and your partner together.