Every relationship has its ups and downs. You will never meet a couple that has not struggled with staying together because everyone goes through phases. Whether they happen often or rarely, the fights and feelings of resentment can sometimes drive you to think about putting your relationship to an end.
Marriage coaching and couple’s planning can help people reignite the love in their relationship. Just because two people feel like they are going through a rough patch where they cannot relate to each other or connect as well as they used to, does not mean that their relationship is on the verge of extinction. Sometimes, all it takes is commitment from both you and your significant other. You can work together to rekindle the spark and remember why the two of you fell in love in the first place. Here are some things you need to remember when trying to making your relationship interesting again.
Keep Things Happening
Like anything that becomes stagnant, a relationship that hasn’t had anything new happen for years is going to start to feel moldy and boring. This doesn’t mean you surprise your partner with something that might end your relationship altogether, but you can try making things feel fresh by finding ways to have new experiences.
These experiences can consist of anything. Whether you join an acting club, a gym or incorporate a weekly screening together, it will make your relationship feel at least a little more exciting than it was before.
You can also go all out and make drastic changes that will stir things up. For example, you could move away to a different city or go on a month long trip. When the environment around you changes, your lives automatically become busier and wilder than they were before.
Even if this doesn’t reignite the spark between the two of you, it definitely adds more to your plate. This way, you won’t have as much time to think about shaking things up in your relationship. It’s possible that the only reason why you two stopped feeling the same connection as before is because your lives started revolving around a strict routine.
Make Younger Friends
This may sound weird, but many people who come to marriage counseling or couple’s planning get bored of doing the same activities together, all the time. One way to feel young and energetic again is to befriend younger people in your social circle.
When you’re around younger people, it can work in two different ways. You’ll either start feeling older and more boring than you previously did. Or, you could learn a thing or two from your younger friends and make your relationship feel new again.
As you get older, your social circle’s main way of spending time together may be going to dinners and attending your children’s birthday parties. However, when you’re around younger people, you will feel motivated to try out the activities they enjoy, like going sky diving or star gazing.
The more stimulation you get, the more interesting your time together will start to feel.
Go on Solo Trips
Again, this is not for the faint of heart. If you can’t imagine going a day without your significant other, despite the hard times, then maybe you need to rethink this one. However, sometimes being on your own helps you reevaluate how you feel about someone. It also helps clear your head and remember why you started seeing this person.
When you spend too much time with someone, many of their traits that were once endearing to you no longer seem attractive. For example, when you start living together, the same habits of theirs that you thought were silly will not seem straight up annoying.
If you spend some time on your own, it will remind you of all the aspects of this person’s personality that you had gotten used to. When you don’t have them around for a few days, it’ll help you figure out whether you really can live without them or if you want to go back and make things work again.
This will definitely make you appreciate them more as well. And when you openly appreciate someone, the spark always returns.
Go to Marriage Coaching
Going to marriage counseling does not mean that you’re accepting there your relationship is on the verge of ending. Many people stigmatize financial coaching, as well as couple’s planning, because they think that getting help in making your relationship work out is a sign of weakness.
It’s better to accept that the feelings between the two of you are not what they used to be. This acceptance helps you make a more informed decision about whether you want to make things work out or not. When you know that someone wants to go to counseling with you if that is what it takes to stay with you, you will naturally feel more loving towards them.
Rather than stay in a relationship that feels boring and bland, talk about how the emotions that used to pass between you two are no longer the same. This conversation could lead to a trip to a marriage counselor, will leave you a lot better off in the long run than a couple who refuses to accept it.
Final Thoughts: Give It Time
Don’t let every aspect of your relationship become a mindless routine. But, if you know that what the two of you are going through is just a temporary experience, you will be able to power through it. You can’t have a relationship that is constantly full of excitement and drama, because that will just mentally exhaust you.
Sometimes, the spark returns on its own. In the meantime, you can find ways to enjoy each other’s time in a less happening way. Maybe you two can go to dinner together and talk about where you see yourselves in the next 10 years. Just because the spark is missing for now doesn’t mean that you two don’t still love each other and enjoy each other’s company.