First of all, when you approach your relationship with realistic expectations, you are less likely to fight the storms when they arrive.  As a result the challenge is to learn how to appreciate, respect, and even embrace the other’s reality as being just as legitimate, justified, and sincerely held as your own.

When you are able to accept this, and get past the damaging expectation that you are supposed to feel happy all the time, you make room for the true joy of being in a relationship.

Here are 12 real truths about marriage and relationships to help you create healthy expectations:

1. You won’t always like your partner.
2. You won’t always feel attracted to your partner.
3. You will feel irritated.
4. You will need to swallow pride and apologize first.
5. You will wonder if there’s someone “better” at times.
6. You will feel lonely at times.
7. Your partner is not your clone, and differences will be challenging.
8. Your sex life will be challenging at times.
9. There will be times when you will feel unappreciated.
10. You will have thoughts like, “I want to leave. I want something else. I want someone else
11. You will lash out at each other and say things you don’t mean.
12. You will bring your past into the relationship: childhood pain, pain from past relationships, pain from broken friendships. So will your partner. And you will project this pain onto each other.

The truth is that relationships are not easy. They’re never easy. Relationships require compromise. They require you to extend yourself for the sake of the other, and they require you to redefine the definition of love.  Being in a romantic relationship is a project all on its own. Therefore, when you grow and experience new things together you both can finally understand the 12 Truths about Marriage & Relationships to reduce expectations.

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