4 Ways You Might Be Hurting Your Partner without Realizing

Being in a relationship is hard work. There is a lot of communication and coordination that goes into being in a lasting and fulfilling relationship with someone. You have to be able to express yourself while also being open to the problems that they confront you about. When it comes to understanding how to be in a healthy relationship, you have to understand each other’s boundaries.

Sometimes, we unknowingly hurt the people that we love the most. This does not happen because we have ill intentions or we want our partner to feel pain and resentment. We do not behave in a hurtful way because we want to ruin the relationship. When things get too out of hand, you might want to consider marriage coaching to get back on track.

Our hurtful behavior is usually something we don’t even realize as being potentially hurtful. We could have just been joking around or in a bad mood about something that happened at work, but our partner has to pay the price of dealing with it.

Here are 4 Ways You Might Be Hurting Your Partner without Realizing

1.  Never Making Time for Them

Are you just always busy? Maybe you’re genuinely busy with work or you have a friend who is going through a hard time and needs you around. No matter what the reason is, there are times when we find ourselves constantly canceling on our partner or not taking out the time to sit with them and talk to them every day.

Even though you do not intentionally avoid your partner through this behavior, you are sending out the message that they are not your priority. As wrong as this may be, it is the impression that your partner will get if you are always finding reasons to be with someone else or not be available for them.

If you ever ask someone what they have learned about how to be in a healthy relationship, you will come to learn that your partner always needs to know where they stand in your life. They should never have to feel like they might not be as important to you as you are to them.

2.  Not Communicating

One surefire way to make any relationship go down the drain is to have incomplete communication. If you can’t communicate what you’re feeling with your partner, you’re setting yourself up for failure. For example, if you are busy because of a commitment to a friend or a large workload at the office, communicate with your partner.

Clarify that you will soon be available again for them and that this is only a temporary obstacle that has come between you two.

When your partner feels like they are not the ones you share all your emotions and thoughts with, they will feel like they no longer have a more intimate relationship with you than other people. If they are also just as much in the dark about where they stand with you as a stranger you work with, they are not going to feel like they are in an exclusive relationship.

Being able to communicate with your partner is not only about letting things off your chest. You have to know how to communicate effectively. Saying hurtful words or being too straightforward with whatever is on your mind can end up causing more damage than there already was.

A relationship is not about having a blissful life every hour of the day. There are many ups and downs, but the only reason that two people can continue to be together despite the hurdles they are faced with is that they are able to effectively communicate with each other. They are able to let the other person know what is on their mind and what emotions they are currently feeling, without the fear of backlash or an argument arising.

3.  Not Understanding Their Emotions

When your partner opens up to you and tells you about the feelings they have with regards to something you do or say, you have to be open and accepting of their emotions. You cannot tell your partner that they are only imagining it or that whatever they are feeling is only in their head. You have to show them that when they are with you, they can talk to you without fear. They should not have to worry that if they tell you about how your actions affected them, then you will laugh in their face or discredit what they felt.

If someone is taking out the time to talk to you about how you two can make things better or change a way of behaving that they do not appreciate, you should listen. No one is going to start a conversation with you about something as sensitive as their feelings unless they really mean it.

They also want you two to stay together, which is why they would prefer a little discomfort in front of you as opposed to starting all over with someone else.

4.  Belittling Them in Front of Friends

It is always a smart decision to discuss any issues you have with your partner when you two are sitting in private. When you point out your partner’s bothersome or irritating behavior in front of all your friends and family, you’re doing nothing but making a spectacle of yourselves.

Nobody likes to be in a compromising situation in front of everyone else. Your partner may not say anything to you when you make an offensive joke about them in front of your friends at dinner, but they will feel extremely hurt. They might even feel like you don’t truly understand them, because you do not understand how to set and respect the boundaries they have.

Final Thoughts

Although marriage coaching is one way to talk about how to be in a healthy relationship.  The next step to ways you might be hurting your partner without realizing, it is to always keep the lines of communication open.  As long as the two of you know that you can discuss your thoughts and emotions with each other whenever you need to, the chances of things ending in disaster are greatly reduced.

Need to talk with a professional relationship coach? Contact Marriage Means Moore for a FREE Consultation!