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10 Reasons Why Women Cheat

Infidelity is a sensitive topic, and each person has the right to make decisions for themselves accordingly!  To understand the top ten reasons why women cheat in relationships, it’s important to realize the root of the problem.  While some women cheat because of “loneliness” or “lack of emotional and physical affection,” there are several other reasons why women cheat in relationships.

Now,  some of the reasons listed below should make you consider long and hard about whether you could forgive your partner; but there is always a lesson in every test and it is equally important that you learn why she cheated.

CONSIDER CHRISTOPHER & DONNA…

When Donna and her husband moved to Ohio a year ago, she had no family or close friends close by. Furthermore, her spouse, Christopher, had long working hours that he couldn’t avoid right after making the move.  After all, his job was the reason they were relocating to another state.  Although Donna assured us that her husband was the “best friend she’d ever had” when she first came to us for marriage coaching, she was also quick to add that their sexual spark was all but gone from their marriage.  Not to mention, the quality time was also fading.

  • “I never understood how someone could feel lonely having an exclusive partner or spouse at home until it happened to me,” Donna told us, somewhat uncomfortably, during her first session.
  • “When I was tired of getting my husband to give me attention, I started frequenting a website that connected married people to other single individuals for networking.  It was never my intention to get past the point of flirting. It was a means of killing my boredom and loneliness, as far as I was concerned. However, unfortunately, it didn’t take long before I was having a sexual affair with a another man.”

Donna defined her infidelity as “using another partner to transition out of loveless, sexless marriage.” Although she cheated, we couldn’t help but feel saddened that she gave up on her marriage before even giving it an actual try for patching things up with her husband again.

Before we move any further, let’s stop here for a moment and acknowledge the million dollar question at hand…

Can a Relationship Work After Cheating?  Let’s first understand the reasons women say they cheat!

Top 10 Reasons Why Women Cheat

1- Dissatisfaction with Relationship

More often than not, experiencing “dissatisfaction” is the starting point of infidelity. It’s also worth noticing that the ratio of women feeling dissatisfied in a relationship is somehow far more significant than men, whether they choose to cheat or not. Nevertheless, questions like “Why did I feel the need to cheat?” invade their minds, no matter the case. Unsurprisingly, like Donna, they all come to the same conclusion:

  • When they couldn’t find satisfaction in their current relationship, they started seeking attention from elsewhere. The act of feeling this emotion should never be neglected or put on the back burner to deal with later. When you nip the problem in the bud before it starts rising, it doesn’t become a catalyst to something that’s morally and ethically wrong – cheating.

2- Loneliness

A woman may cheat when her husband or partner starts giving more hours to his work rather than focusing on his wife. He might even leave her with the kids at home unattended for long periods without appreciating her for her actions. Or it could be that it’s naturally challenging for her to make friends due to a disengagement problem.  In any case, isolation and loneliness make the perfect recipe for initiating an affair outside of a relationship.

3- Sexual Curiosity to Try New Things

Try as you might, the chances of keeping the sexual spark alive in your relationship after a while become close to impossible. While most women are alright with that and even remain completely satisfied with their sex life, others have a more curious and wild sexual drive that they can’t tame.

Not to mention, women used to watching porn may want to advance their sexual experience more than their partner is willing.

  • The dangerous thing about this scenario is that when a woman craves to fulfill their sexual curiosities, sometimes, lust can lead them to hunt down another man in secrecy who’s willing to satisfy her physical hunger.

4- Online Affair Gone Overboard

Moreover, we can’t help but mention the rising issue of online sites that match married or committed people with other singles. Like Donna, there are several women (and men) who fall down this path when they are dissatisfied with their current relationship for whatever reason.

  • During these weak moments, it’s crucial to remember that getting sucked into online chats may get you hot and excited at the time. However, it will eventually lead you to nothingness while making you lose the true love of your life.

5- Emotional Negligence

It’s not just physical negligence that leads a woman to cheat. More often than not, it’s enduring a lack of emotional interest from their partner that pushes women to behave disloyally. The emotional unavailability might not be intentional from the men’s side in all cases. Nevertheless, this is usually the last straw when women think, “He wouldn’t even care either way” before they focus their attention on someone willing to shower them with their affection, all the while knowing it’s temporary.

  • While we can’t blame infidelity for anyone other than the cheating party, it’s essential to realize that it usually takes two to stir up trouble, just like it takes two to make a relationship work.

6- Misleading Social Circle

Women’s social circle, including their family, coworkers, and friends, can play a significant role in how they act in their relationships.  Most of the time, it’s the closest friends who are quick to give the wrong type of advice that destroys a relationship from the inside out.  The bitter and often misleading assumptions spark the desire to look for love elsewhere when the women already feel troubled.

Imagine your friend telling you, “It is alright to have needs and do something about them. He’s trying to keep you from living your life while he does absolutely nothing but inflicts emotional pain on you.”

  • These comments make you believe it is perfectly fine to cheat on your partner. That’s essentially why it is so important to surround yourself with the right company when you’re looking to live your life right.

7- Self-Medication for Depression

Did you know that clinical depression and infidelity go hand in hand? It’s true for both men and women. Let us clarify this point to you in detail:

When you enter a new relationship, everything feels exciting. The reason you feel happy is that your brain is quick to pump out dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine when you meet someone new. In other words, all these chemicals are naturally produced when you’re attracted to someone.

Coincidentally, people taking antidepressants induce the same chemicals when dealing with depression. Therefore, when a woman is dealing with such an underlying condition, either knowingly or unknowingly, and finds herself attracted to someone outside her relationship, you can already guess what happens.

  • Not taking any antidepressants means she isn’t caring for her health as she should. However, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the need to relieve herself from the piling stress.  Therefore, if she chooses to give in and cheat in her moment of weakness, it instantly feels like a form of self-medication because of the production of chemicals. Most of the time, they don’t even realize the reason why they can’t keep themselves from cheating on their partner. That’s because they don’t understand the inner workings of their body, to begin with.

It’s worth mentioning that women tend to have a higher rate of suffering from depression. Therefore, before anyone starts pointing fingers, it’s better to understand the cause first. This form of infidelity is often a product of depression, even when the cheating party doesn’t desire to keep themselves sexually associated with another being in essence.

8- Coping Mechanism for Numbing Feelings

People tend to develop different methods to cope with troubling feelings. Sex is, unfortunately, one of these coping mechanisms. That said, several researchers have concluded that when you lose control of your life, sex usually ends up becoming an escape from reality.

Case in point, giving in to your sexual drive is often more addictive than drugs and alcohols, creating a fantasy world for people where they could numb their pain and even experience a much-needed exhilarating jolt. Ultimately, there’s an adrenaline rush to infidelity that no one is immune to, be it a man or woman.

9- Alcohol

While it is one of those reasons for infidelity that don’t need any explanation, it’s an important factor we couldn’t miss listing in this article. Some women tend to abuse alcohol when they’re out clubbing or partying with friends and can’t hold their liquor. Therefore, they end up finding themselves in another man’s bed the next morning with no memory whatsoever of the previous night.

  • Some of them may not even feel any remorse, saying, “they don’t even remember the night.” However, others might wake up soon enough to see that “the best kind of fun is sober fun,” where they get to enjoy their time and remember it the next day. After all, losing your man for some hazy nights that you can’t even have any memory of is never worth it!

10- Lack of Excitement in Life – Low Self-Esteem

You might have likely heard about the “serial cheaters.” These are people who seek thrill in life and cheat just for the sake of it. It’s not so much the excitement but the endorphin-filled interactions that they crave. Then come women who experience lows in life solely because of suppressed self-esteem.

These women struggle with a lack of self-worth, which spurs them to look for validation even outside their relationship. For example, when suffering from low self-esteem, women end up asking questions like “Why would someone find me attractive, to begin with?”

Of course, other men jump to reassure them that they’re attractive and anyone making them feel otherwise is not worth it. All these statements make them feel exceptionally good about themselves. Moreover, when someone starts to show them affection to prove just how attractive they are, some women, unfortunately, jump the ship.

  • When one fling ends, they pursue yet another romantic affair to offer themselves the proof of their desirability – and the cycle continues.

Now, Let’s Get to the Million Dollar Question!

Can a Relationship Work After Cheating?

Absolutely! When you and your partner are genuinely willing to put the work in and get past the infidelity woes, your relationship can come out even stronger than before. Of course, it will take time, and there will be some actions needed to be taken from both sides to ensure there are no repeat episodes of what you’ve already endured. However, as long as you can find it in yourself to forgive (even if not immediately), and your partner feels genuine remorse for their actions, a relationship can work and even thrive after cheating.

In conclusion, there are two things thriving depends. These are:

  • Whether you will ever be ready to forgive your partner or spouse in the foreseeable future.
  • Whether your partner feels guilty for their actions and is willing to prove their faithfulness to you moving on.

Are You Looking to Fix Your Relationship? Contact a Relationship Coach Today!

Has your partner cheated on you?

Now that you’re aware of the top ten reasons why women cheat in relationships, you can understand better what your partner might be going through at the time.  However, dealing with a cheating partner that has been disloyal to you one too many times can be challenging.

Therefore, if it’s too much for you and your partner to reestablish the trust and work through this on your own, we advise seeking help from a relationship coach. A licensed counselor can be the ideal person to help you deal with your emotions while encouraging you to have more constructive conversations. However, it’s essential to keep in mind that counseling is not an instant solution. It takes time to resolve conflicts and re-initiate a trusting relationship with your partner after cheating.

At Marriage Means Moore, we offer our services to clients looking to work through their issues post-cheating healthily and constructively. Moreover, while a coach tries their best to fix relationships, they can also help struggling individuals recognize whether it is time to move forward in life when their partner doesn’t share the same feelings as them.

Schedule your first appointment with us and see how our services can help you take your relationship or marriage from functioning to thriving!

By Antonio & Laura Moore | Relationship & Marriage Coaches | August 5, 2021 | Marriage Means Moore Inc.

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